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Go to P3 HousingRob describes the fear of living on the streets with his dog Maggie and how with support he is now beginning to rebuild his life.
Rob* had nowhere to go when his relationship fell apart. Moving in with his sister, he started to notice a spiral in his lifestyle when he got in with the wrong crowd.
He says, ‘it started with soft drugs and a bit of cannabis, then it was speed – before I knew it, I tried heroin. Even when I hated seeing my mates doing it.’ He used heroin and cocaine interchangeably, saying ‘it made me feel like a zombie.’
Feeling guilty for the impact on his family, he left his sisters to stay on his friend’s sofa. This came to an end when the friend was taken to prison, leaving Rob with nowhere to go – and ‘due to the drugs, didn’t really care anymore.’
“At first sleeping on the streets was scary, I realised I really did have no one or nowhere to go.”
Making friends on the street, Rob says it made him feel safer – he was shown the tricks to staying clear from trouble and recommended the best sleeping spots. He recalls how he started sleeping next to one of the big shops in town because it was dry, and people would be able to identify him if anything happened. What he means by anything is unclear, but it clearly comes from a place of terror and knowingness of street life.
Once the initial fear subsided, Rob went into survival mode. Relishing the nice people who would ask him how he was or bring him food in the mornings but also being guarded around those who would shout abuse late at night.
I used more drugs on the streets to block away the pain, I felt I was not worth anything. It made me feel more secure as I could not think about anything.
His only purpose at this time was his dog, Maggie. He recalls how he would not leave her in exchange for accommodation, because the bond they have was built from a mutual rough start in life. ‘The only thing I’ve got,’ he surmises.
While on the streets, Rob would bump into the local police and the council trying to convince him to get help. But each time, he would turn it down knowing that he could not part with Maggie. He recalls the difficulty in finding accommodation that would accept pets, as if they weren’t a part of the family.
That was when he heard from his local P3, who offered him a place that would accept dogs. Just on the brink of him ‘giving up hope,’ Rob says:
“I’d had enough, so I took the offer. By the time I got to P3 though, I was a bit scared and to be honest a bit embarrassed, I stunk, I had not showered for a long time, there were young lads who I thought would think I was a tramp.”
He got a shower and something to eat, Rob recalls ‘feeling like a human being again.’ The first night in a bed seemed like the first night of real sleep he had had in years.
His highlight of seeing Maggie relaxed and in a deep sleep was what made him feel like he had a home again. Whilst in secure accommodation, Rob has been able to receive support for his mental health and drug rehabilitation programme.
His hope for the future: ‘I just want to be comfortable – I want to find my own home but for now I just want to focus on getting the right kind of support.’
With P3’s help, Rob is working on coming out of ‘self-destructive mode,’ something which he has been battling with for years. His next steps involve finding work, and moving on with his life, of course, with Maggie in it.
Rob was supported by P3. If you or someone you know could benefit from our services, click on the button below to find your nearest P3 Charity service.
*Names changed and stock images used for anonymity
