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After years navigating crime and homelessness, Gary Cowlard – or ‘Gaz Callard’, as he’s known by his readers – channels his experiences into a thrilling self-published crime debut. The first of a three-part series, Gary talks to P3 about his book and the events that inspired his story.
First supported by P3 Charity in 2008, when he needed help to find secure housing, Gary returned to P3 in Milton Keynes in 2010 to volunteer and give back to his local community. Helping local people with housing advice and encouraging them to get involved in community groups, Gary says, “I wanted work [that would] help people.”
When he first started volunteering, Gary laughs that he couldn’t turn a computer on. He says volunteering gave him skills that prepared him for his next steps. Toying with the idea of going back to college, it was Jen Kralj, his P3 Support Worker turned manager, who gave him the confidence to apply.
“[Jen] took me to Bletchley College, where I made an appointment for the following day. Before I knew it, I was signed up on the Access to Higher Education course in Social Care. I was immediately drawn to the psychology [part of the course], so I decided to do it as a degree… I knew if I didn’t do it, I would always regret it.”
Now Head of Support and Community Services for P3 Charity across the East, Jen Kralj was central to Gary’s journey, she reflects: “‘It’s been an immense privilege to know Gary over the past 10 years. He’s overcome multiple challenges with determination and spirit. Gary and people who have shared experiences like his are why P3 exists and it’s a great testament of hope and encouragement to anyone who is struggling with homelessness, mental health and addiction, showing that recovery is possible.”
Ten years later, Gary and Jen have become lifelong friends. Jen has been present with Gary through key milestones in his life, such as getting his degree (he graduated from the University of Bedfordshire with BSc Honours in Psychology and Criminal Behaviour) and now the publication of his book. She adds: “His book is a fantastic read – gritty and fast paced, written with authenticity.”
Alongside his degree, Gary started dedicating more of his time towards his carpentry – trained by his uncle, it’s something he learnt between custodial prison sentences, offering him skills for life that he still uses today – even upskilling his son. With his dad’s support, Gary’s son has started his own business specialising in internal door fittings.
Gary says: “We’ve earnt our wages, but the way things are now, there is not always lots of money. I want this book to do well because I want that money to set my son up in his business… If I got even more money, I’d want to give back and help those young people in need of somewhere to go.”
Shifting the focus to his book, Gary says that he came up with the original idea just over eight years ago, but it was only something that came to fruition after finishing his degree.
Inspired to write by his own journey, Gary notes that his life often hasn’t been easy. Spending his childhood and early adulthood between behavioural management schools and prison, Gary reflects: “I was out roaming the streets as a fourteen-year-old lad. I don’t know what it is about me, but I felt like I was born corrupt. As I’ve got older, I’ve learnt not to behave on the impulses anymore.”
Gary says his life got chaotic as he got older. Living between prison, friend’s sofas and the streets, he never had a fixed address. He recalls how he was relieved each time a stint in prison would come around, hoping for a sentence long enough to provide him with shelter, food and stability. He says: “I liked prison. I can honestly say that prison became a safe place. Sounds crazy, but it wasn’t intimidating because I knew exactly what I was dealing with.”
Gary’s story is a reminder that change is possible; from homelessness to his debut novel, his journey is both transformative and powerful. Next, we’ll explore how he turned that journey into a compelling new book.
Gary and Jen at his graduation, celebrating his BSc Hons in Psychology and Criminal Behaviour from the University of Bedfordshire.
Opening with a dramatic scene, “the story opens with a prologue, one man dead and the other holding the gun”, Gary says.
Eventually it becomes clear that the two men are childhood friends, where crime and adulthood have caused their lives to take drastic turns. Set in the 1980s, the novel mediates between the explosive present and memories from the characters’ childhoods. Throughout, the reader is eager to piece together the puzzle, and it’s not until the very end when we find out who is holding the gun.
The book is entrenched with dark themes around crime and abuse; one of the main protagonists talks about his sexual abuse at the hands of a local priest, the other suffering with intense narcissism.
While the plot is completely fictional, some events and characters are based on parts of Gary’s life – something that is deeply apparent in the complex layering of the characters’ psyches.
Gary reflects: “It was never meant to be called Once Upon a Time in Milton Keynes, but there we are.”
He says by drawing on his past experiences, the process of writing has led him to do a lot of self-reflection: “Sometimes I’ll be in areas of Milton Keynes, and I look at a certain place and have a flashback – ‘That is real, I did that.’ Things I’d never dream of doing now. To be honest, I was a complete nightmare… I processed it and I’m ashamed of it, even if it’s trivialised.”
This couldn’t be clearer than in Gary’s writing, where his dedication to his storytelling has finally manifested itself after years of planning. The concept developed while Gary was still in prison, and it’s no surprise that his crime fiction book is inspired by events in his own life – in Gary’s own words, it remains “true-ish”.
But that’s only the start, as Gary says, “This is only the first part of a series.” Since self-publishing his book, he’s already writing his follow-up novel. Giving us a teaser, he jokes, “I don’t like happy endings.”
Want to find out who’s holding the gun? You can purchase Gary’s book here.
