Cal’s Story

Joined by Cal, IT Support Analyst for P3 Charity’s Digital Services team, we talk about LGBTQ+ History Month and why it’s so crucial for an inclusive and welcoming workplace. Cal identifies as nonbinary. Which by definition means a gender identity that does not conform to traditional binary male and female beliefs about gender. Cal has been with P3 since 2023 and reflects on how creating an inclusive work environment isn’t just good for business, but great for an individuals’ personal wellbeing. 

Cal explains, “I consider myself nonbinary mainly because I have found that there has never been a label that fits, as the way I feel about gender varies, so ‘they/them’ pronouns help me feel comfort on the day-to-day. As there are no strict gender identities, being nonbinary helps me categorise things in my own brain and express how I feel about things at a certain time. 

“I didn’t realise [I was nonbinary] until I was in my thirties. It took a long time for me to realise my true identity, so this is still fairly recent for me.”  

Cal describes feeling different from other people as far back as their childhood, right through into their twenties. It wasn’t until one of their friends came out a few months before that Cal realised that that identity resonated with how they felt inside.  

They add, “Before my friend came out, I’d heard the term [nonbinary], but I had no idea what that actually meant or looked like. That’s exactly why these conversations matter. 

“Coming out to yourself first, that takes time. That comes way before you come out to anybody else. It took a long while before I was able to speak about things, and even now, I only open up about the deeply personal stuff with close friends. I’m still evolving, I’m still changing. Like anything, I’m still learning.” 

For Cal, pronouns are an important part of identity, but also a source of anxiety due to the controversial climate surrounding gender identity. Cal says, “How I respond to [the misuse of pronouns] depends heavily on the context. I have come across negative backlash. A lot of it, in my opinion, comes down to social media and the narratives deliberately designed to supress freedom of expression.” 

Cal adds, “In a professional sense, if I come across [negative backlash], I have a three-strike rule. If somebody says something that they don’t realise is offensive, I will say something. If it happens again, I remind them. Then after that, I escalate it.” 

At P3, colleagues are encouraged to bring their whole selves to work as we believe that a diverse workforce is a strong workforce. Reflecting on this, Cal says, “In the office, I’m very open because I know everyone and it’s a comfortable space. Externally, less because of [the stigma]. 

“Having a sense of belonging at work is essential to being comfortable. If you’re sitting there hiding something, you will never be able to fully concentrate on your role, as your primary concern will be about protecting yourself.  In other jobs, I have felt real fear at times. At P3, I’ve only ever had good experiences, I think mainly because of the closeness of our team. I trust my team and I know I can rely on them. Having good people around does help a lot.” 

Cal talks about the small but heartfelt gesture of putting pronouns in your email signature. They say, “It’s a small thing, but it really does make all the difference. Being able to tell people, even in a small way, removes that awkwardness surrounding what people do or don’t say. It also provides an opportunity for people to have conversations; that’s how we create true understanding, right? 

“It’s a polite way for me to let people know without having to sit down and have a formal conversation. It’s on the tags on my emails, it’s on my [Microsoft] Teams [app], my work lanyard. So yeah, it’s more of a personal touch.” 

It’s taken a lot for Cal to talk about their story with us, but it’s something that they want to share to support others who are shy about expressing who they are and encourage them to be open and proud with their colleagues, as well as friends and family. They are keen to point out that we spend most of our time at work, so it’s important for our wellbeing and overall sense of belonging to be able to be our authentic selves.  

This draws on the importance of LGBTQ+ History Month – different to Pride – which focuses specifically on celebrating the incredible things LGBTQ+ people have achieved throughout history, in all areas of life.  

We asked Cal why LGBTQ+ History Month is important to them. They say, “We can’t learn without the knowledge of the past, and we need that to have a real understanding. I myself was a history student at university, so history has always been important to me. There’s a quote, ‘those who forget history are doomed to repeat it’. The only way to move forward is to acknowledge the bad, as well as the good.” 

As an example, Cal talks about the term ‘Queer’ being reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community as an expression of solidarity and to take away the stigmatising and derogatory power of the word. They explain, “Even if the specifics are different, the paths are usually quite similar in what people have come up against.” Recalling when the lettering of LGBTQ+ was changed from LGBT to include the term ‘Queer’, they say, “It can’t be used to hurt people anymore. We’ve reclaimed it to be more inclusive across the whole [LGBTQ+] community.” 

Cal feels strongly about having open conversations, especially with people who aren’t in the LGBTQ+ community. He explains, “Within the [LGBTQ+] community, we already have acceptance. It’s people who aren’t [part of that community] that should make an active effort during [LGBTQ+] History Month. Queer people have always been around, and it’s only recently that [non-Queer] people have been willing to understand this part of humanity. The point of understanding [LGBTQ+] history is to really understand the whole [of society].  

At P3, all colleagues take part in EDI (Equity, Diversity and Inclusion) training, with further opportunities to take part in additional courses, events and activities that support a safe, inclusive and understanding community for all. 

Cal is keen to emphasise the importance of understanding and how this comes across at P3: “Throughout history, we’ve seen what the loss of rights – and the loss of understanding – can do to people. Society has changed so much that current times need to change as well. We’re lucky that in our workplace we are at the forefront of this forward-thinking. It’s very rare that you get a workplace that is this accepting – no, encouraging – for people to be themselves.” 

How we speak to and about people in our community has a significant impact on inclusion, enabling stronger connections and supporting active participation in discussions around LGBTQ+ rights and developments across the world. 

Cal reflects on the relevance of global LGBTQ+ issues and the impact this has on how we engage with and support our colleagues and communities here in the UK. Particularly, Cal says, “The rise in hate speech and in far-right politics that go hand-in-hand with negativity towards minorities in terms of race, gender, sexuality. In certain spaces, I have grown to feel increasingly unsafe, as have many other LGBTQ+ people. What we need to remember is behind this sort of speech, there’s a real person who is affected by it. People are people, it doesn’t matter what your background is, whether that be accent, colour of your skin, how you dress, how you choose to identify, how you choose to spend your time; that doesn’t determine whether you are a good person or not. Our actions define that for us.”  

For now, Cal is focused on being their best self. They’re committed to continuing to speak up when language causes harm and challenging prejudice, helping to create spaces where everyone feels safer and more comfortable. At P3, we are proud to support Cal, our colleagues and the people we work alongside in this shared mission to belong.